Why is my Child Acting Different?

When I started doing the Primitive Reflex and cognitive exercises with my daughter, Lyla, her behavior started to change. Problem was…it was not all for the good. We will talk about that in a minute, but first the wins….. From the time Lyla was a baby, she had been too hyper to be cuddled. She would wiggle and squirm away and could never relax like other babies. I knew then that she wasn’t typical. Lyla was 5 when I started brain stimulating exercises. At this time, my other girls would grab their blanky and come snuggle with me before bed time each night. Lyla had never joined. She was too busy roaring around the house acting like a T-rex, tearing the house apart and torturing our snuggle time.

A win

One month into the exercises, Lyla came to me with her blanky and asked for snuggle time before bed…..my jaw dropped open…..’could this really be the exercises I’ve been doing?’  Well, it was! She sat there for 15 minutes with me that night. From that day on, Lyla has initiated snuggle time before bed, something I will never take for granted. It wasn’t the only gain. We started noticing her sitting through movies and meals better, noticing when she had hurt or offended someone and much more.

Now About the Negative Behavior

We had noticed some other behavior too. When things didn’t go her way, she was more emotional. She cried easier, but a little less volatile. She still had some head spinning outbursts. But, I noticed that they were starting to be more emotional for her, more of a development of feelings that she didn’t know how to manage. It wasn’t just the usual lion tearing through the jungle. At this time I was still studying everything I could on brain stimulating types of exercises. I learned, as children go through exercises that mature neurological connections, such as Primitive Reflex or Sensory Motor balancing exercises, parts of their brain would go through the typical developmental stages that it should have, as the neurons connect and advance.  Areas of Lyla’s brain would be maturing quickly through different developmental stages that typical children had already been through. The ‘terrible twos’ and ‘independent threes’ are actually part of normal development as the child learns they don’t always have to mirror their parent’s wants and emotions. They can have independent emotions and wants. Ya, I know every parent hates the ‘terrible twos’ and thinks their darling little toddler just turned into an unreasonable monster.  But, it is actually a healthy part of development and won’t last forever with the right guidance and discipline. I remember thinking ‘But I know Lyla already went through the twos already. I almost didn’t make it. I feel like she never quite advanced past the terrible twos’. True!!!! And that is why it was so important to mature those neurological connections so that she could advance to a level of self control and self regulation that comes with maturity.  

Patience!

I’m going to end with reiterating ‘patience’. I had to exercise A LOT of patience as Lyla went through her changes. It happened very quickly and she was much better after about 6 weeks. But, patience was the key. If you lose your temper with them, they will see you as an out-of-control bully. They won’t feel like ‘someone in charge is setting a standard of behavior in the household’. They will see it as a bully-to-bully fight, with you winning and them losing. This will only fuel the ‘war’ inside them.

Keep a calm spirit and face as you deal with them in a rational manner, always remembering their developmental stage. They won’t make good judgement at first, nor every time. Their pre-frontal cortex is not yet developed. Show them an example of kindness, patience and forgiveness. Be quick to love them and accept the small gestures of repentance they show you. Give them choices on as many things as you can. They are starting to grow up and desire independence.